Behind the times...

I feel once again, that I'm behind the times: I'm not the type of person who cares about what other people do.. but it feels like I'm really the only one who hasn't got anywhere... either i think too hard about the situation or I'm afraid of evolving... Everyday comes with a new story of a person's new adventure.. i found myself speechless, shocked, and unable to contribute mine experience.. and

I wonder if people notice this about me.. if they catch by bluffs from truths and innocents from lies.. I wrote this last night before i went to bed: "Haven't had it in a while but yet i miss it even more than the day before, i want just a little bit now and then, and pray it don't get out of hand" its incomplete but it says a lot about me and what i been searching for... and explain my slump..

I been say this saying over and over again.. "I want more than what life has been giving me" I claim i know what i want... I even go as far as say I know how to get it... but yet I believe the opportunities are, in a way, constantly dealt to me... but I'm either refusing to play or always folding my cards... then

Someone texts me this: "Tough times never last, tough people do..." Ironic.. and the timing was oddly on point.. bascially

I feel like an outkast.. and i don't know if i like it not anymore..